Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

My Only Constant....

Everything changes. Everything.

That simple statement used to scare me to no end. I hated change. I grew up in a small town, went to school with the same group of kids (give or take a few). and everyone knew each other's business. I had a routine. Something stable.

Then came a few traumatic events. My parents split up as I was getting ready for my freshmen year of college. Best friends bid ado and left Hilliard in search of something better. Others got married and had babies. Me? I worked, went to school, and didn't have time for a relationship. I felt so isolated and alone. So much change to take in from high school days. I didn't know what to do with myself. Those college years were by far my toughest. At times I felt like I was at my wits end. Were was my security blanket, ole faithful Stability? There was none to be had. Not even a little bit. I didn't have anything tangible I could hold onto. I didn't have God.

As my 23rd birthday neared, I knew God was calling me back....talking me down from the ledge. All those time I found comfort in downing drinks or "Liquid Courage" and partying gave me temporary happiness. My life had become nothing but vanity and left me feeling like a porcelain doll. Easy on the eyes, yet so hollow and empty inside. So much time trying to fill the void and find something solid and God was waiting to take me in his arms. His love was all I ever needed. God is the definition of stability. From that point on, change rolled off of my back with such ease.

Recently, I've lost a few friends due to moving. I suppose you could call them "Fair weather friends". One of which I bonded to as my first true sister in Christ. The old Genn would be devastated wondering "What did I do wrong? Why don't they care?" God's taught me that people will be placed in my life....maybe for the rest of my life...maybe just for a small while. He needs them there to help fulfill his will for our lives. It's like a very finely weaved intricate web. I don't know why they drifted out of my life. However, it's not really for me to know and I'm okay with that.

I believe he was preparing me to be accustomed to change. I married into the military life. Rapid change is the only constant. I don't know where we'll be living in the next few years...but again....I don't need to. Jake always says "If it's not in our hands it must be in God's."

Now, I embrace change with open arms. Amazing what a few years and submitting to God's will can do.

God is all we need.

Psalm 62:6

He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Just another Manic ( Job Search-a-thon) Monday.

Today I embarked on a journey to market myself for every employer to see. To my astonishment...time really flies when you're busy boasting about why an organization should hire you. At one point, before ML, I had a problem writing resumes and such. I hated looking like one proud peacock all perched up with plumage that said "Look at want meeeee!" Well....I still hate doing that...however, I've become quite good at it too.

Resume writing, references, cover's all really an art form. You poetically schmooze your way into corporate America's heart with words like "Motivated....Team Player...Hard working". It's a have to balance good, outstanding and solid attributes then play it up with "pretty" words.

Sometimes I wish it were still a more simple time. Where newspapers advertise job openings and you go to the location to hand in a resume or fill out an application. Face to face time is what more employers should need and want! Everything now is so mechanic... in the age of .com there are so many scams in submitting your resume. You don't know which sites are legit....or postings on a site. Don't get me wrong...I look like one heck of an employee on my resume. However, I just feel as though it would be to every one's best interest to see the face behind the writing.

Well, at the end of the day I finished profiles on two more major job sites and applied to so many positions it's too much to even keep track of. Just like everyone else who's job searching. Oh the age of isolation....the Internet could be one of the greatest triumphs in technology and yet man's biggest downfall. It keeps everyone more connected, in fact, in this case TOO many people connected.

Sunday, July 19, 2009


Ever just have "one of those days". Everything seems a bit off kilter. I had that kind of day today... I slept in way late..we went to the bookstore...went out to eat with friends....but the whole day I was out of it..I just felt like I was in a fog.....Meh....there's always tomorrow.... Church and a good message will surely snap me out of my oblivion. :)

Friday, July 17, 2009

That's Right! I'm perfect.

Today was pretty uneventful. Felt blah-zay for most of it. The simple joys of being a woman if ya know what I mean. Jake came home and we watched movies, ordered pizza and I had a ginormous craving for ice cream.....doesn't happen often...but when it does it's like crack to a fiend. Gotta have it!

So we took a trip to the grocery store and I picked out the low-fat ice cream (of course). Jake got a few things and then we headed home. Now the difference between Jake & I is that he can eat pizza and regular ice cream and feel fine about himself. Me? Never. It's almost absurd to think I could eat so much junk and be okay with it...I mean right? That's the story of every woman!

When did society find it right and just to make women feel like they have to obtain a figure virtually unattainable? It's so ingrained in our culture. Women naturally hold onto more body fat than men...and the pressure is on the woman to be a size 2,4, 8 is pushing it in the fashion industry. When Ozzy's daughter was a healthy size 8 the tabloids called her "obese"!!!! In a Women's Studies course during college I learned that the stereotypical "Model" figure society looks at as the "Holy Grail" of sizes actually mirrored Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome in women.

I remember a message from Lisa Bevere that impacted how I viewed myself and my body. Throughout my teens and very early twenties I struggled with eating disorders and self image. I finally have come to terms with my body because of her message. She said after four children and weight fluctuation of seventy pounds. She prayed for God to give her the body he wanted her to have. She's been the same weight ever since.

God didn't make women in a cookie cutter image...and we shouldn't want to look like what society would have us to be....But the body our Heavenly Father gave us. He made us a certain way so that we could live out his perfect will for our lives. In his image ...we are perfect.

Psalm 139:13-14 (New King James Version)
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Heart's Desire

Today I was asked to help coordinate a wedding the day before and the day of the ceremony. God blessed me with a small one (80-100 guests). Maybe this is the direction he wants me to go. Dunno....I need more prayer time on it. However, I do feel completely "zen" and enthralled to the point where time flies. I have a knack for organization and an eye for color, perfect picture spots, and decor. Right now I'm looking into more professional cameras and toying with the idea of building a portfolio. I mean, if not full time, it could be a part time gig. A gig that I adore!

Psalm 20:4 (New King James Version)
4 May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, And fulfill all your purpose.

"When I grow up I wanna be...."

Man...I am so sleepy right now. I get so enthralled in something and don't even realize how much time is passing. I agreed to edit some pics for my sister's friend and now I'm looking at announcement templates. I'm beginning to think I should make a business out of it. I mean, I have such a passion for photography and a perfectionist when it comes to editing my work. Hmmm....perhaps the purchase of a very nice camera would most certainly pay for itself.....something to ponder....but now is definitely not that time. G'night all.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Mustard Seed Faith

I am in absolute awe of God's overflowing mercy today.

See....Jake's father has been having heart problems that had escalated to life threatening. He had an aneurysm (blister) on his heart that could go at any moment...which would take his life. It seemed like a raincloud that just loomed around and everyone was awaiting a downpour at any given time.

When we were visiting, Jake's dad had come home from a doctor's appointment with a very sullen look about him. His dad is usually pretty jolly. I asked how it went...big mistake.

They found that the aneurysm had actually grown and they would have to do open heart surgery. A procedure that was extremely risky and odds were stacked against him.

I had been praying for his father fervently. I felt inside my heart that God would heal him. Although I would occasionally waver back and forth with doubt.

On our trip we went to the "Bodies" exhibit in Vegas.... as we passed by a heart Jake pointed out the location of the blister and how they would take his fathers heart out of his chest to remove it. In that moment I had a vision of the aneurysm smoothing out flat. I cannot explain it. I even thought "well that's odd..." But went along my business and kept it to myself. On our way home from the trip I was praying silently on the plane and had the same vision again. To myself I thought "Okay God, this makes no sense....I've never heard of this happening...but you know better than anyone on this Earth....your knowledge surpasses any doctor..." and then I drifted off to sleep.

Today, Jake called me on his way home from work and I have not heard him that chipper in quite some time. He informed me that dad went to the doctor again today and not only did the blister fade actually somewhat callused over. The cardiologist was astonished and actually said he had never seen or heard anything like this happening.

As Jake told me this I was in absolute shock....on one hand I wasn't surprised because God is capable of all things and only wants the best for his children. On the other hand, he chose to listen to ME.. a sinner from a terrible past. He let me witness an amazing miracle. Me. The person who had faith but would tell Jake "I believe he will be healed"...then thought to myself "Right God....Right?!"

I've never been able to go on a missions trip to Africa...and a lot of my friends would share amazing stories where people were healed. I remember thinking "God please show me one day....I need to see this"...and lo and behold...he out-did himself as usual. God always goes one step further. Instead of using a stranger, he healed someone dear to my heart.

Thank you God for letting me be part of this.

Matthew 17:20

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

A church to call "Home"

Jake & I have been searching for a church where we belong for months now. We have both been praying on it....I felt so restless in one church we went to a few times. God definitely has a sense of humor. The people there were very was just too aimed towards new faith. Nothing wrong with that at's just that my walk has grown so much. I was still thirsting for a deeper sermon.

The last straw (as I was already on the fence)...we arrived at church on Sunday, which was in a small movie theater (yes the house of God can be anywhere!)...and they completely forgot the message at home. the 5 year history of the church it was the ONE time the pastor forgot. We left and all I could think was "This...THIS is what I woke up early for today?!"

So, I am so thrilled to announce that we found our place this past Sunday. Couldn't have been orchestrated any better. It's in a gorgeous community theater in downtown Savannah. As fate would have it, we attended for the first time on the Church's anniversary. A seasoned couple came up first thing and introduced themselves and everything just "clicked". The message spoke to my heart...I could feel his presence. Amazing. I haven't felt that close to God in church since I left Jax.

Ephesians 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

....and the hunt continues...

Today was our first day Monday back from vacation. It's tough adjusting back to "Normal" life...all of a sudden you realize "Oh isn't one carefree walk in the park". We had such an amazing time out west. The mountains are like nothing I've ever seen. No literally...I'm a Floridian through and through.

...and this leads me to the title of this blog-o. I have been busting my hump trying to find my niche in Savannah. I'm pretty patient....but I also detest feeling like a housewife at times. I have such an independent spirit ya know? It's not that I don't absolutely love keeping everything in order and cooking is indeed a passion of mine...but I know God has more for me....patience...I know....easier said than done eh? I get so frustrated because I feel almost helpless. I just have to trust and know God has something lined up bigger than myself and right now isn't the time to reveal it.
Psalm 37:7Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.