Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My Only Constant....

Everything changes. Everything.

That simple statement used to scare me to no end. I hated change. I grew up in a small town, went to school with the same group of kids (give or take a few). and everyone knew each other's business. I had a routine. Something stable.

Then came a few traumatic events. My parents split up as I was getting ready for my freshmen year of college. Best friends bid ado and left Hilliard in search of something better. Others got married and had babies. Me? I worked, went to school, and didn't have time for a relationship. I felt so isolated and alone. So much change to take in from high school days. I didn't know what to do with myself. Those college years were by far my toughest. At times I felt like I was at my wits end. Were was my security blanket, ole faithful Stability? There was none to be had. Not even a little bit. I didn't have anything tangible I could hold onto. I didn't have God.

As my 23rd birthday neared, I knew God was calling me back....talking me down from the ledge. All those time I found comfort in downing drinks or "Liquid Courage" and partying gave me temporary happiness. My life had become nothing but vanity and left me feeling like a porcelain doll. Easy on the eyes, yet so hollow and empty inside. So much time trying to fill the void and find something solid and God was waiting to take me in his arms. His love was all I ever needed. God is the definition of stability. From that point on, change rolled off of my back with such ease.

Recently, I've lost a few friends due to moving. I suppose you could call them "Fair weather friends". One of which I bonded to as my first true sister in Christ. The old Genn would be devastated wondering "What did I do wrong? Why don't they care?" God's taught me that people will be placed in my life....maybe for the rest of my life...maybe just for a small while. He needs them there to help fulfill his will for our lives. It's like a very finely weaved intricate web. I don't know why they drifted out of my life. However, it's not really for me to know and I'm okay with that.

I believe he was preparing me to be accustomed to change. I married into the military life. Rapid change is the only constant. I don't know where we'll be living in the next few years...but again....I don't need to. Jake always says "If it's not in our hands it must be in God's."

Now, I embrace change with open arms. Amazing what a few years and submitting to God's will can do.

God is all we need.

Psalm 62:6

He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.